i

But these punish themselves. The insolence
Of Cofcus, only, breeds my just offence,

Whom time (which rots all, and makes botches pox,
And plodding on, must make a calf an ox)
Hath made a Lawyer; which (alas) of late;
But scarce a Poet: jollier of this state,

Than are new-benefic'd Minifters, he throws
Like nets or lime-twigs wheresoe'er he goes

His title of Barrifter on ev'ry wench,

And wooes in language of the Pleas and Bench.**
Words, words which would tear

The tender labyrinth of a Maid's soft ear:

More, more than ten Sclavonians scolding, more

Than when winds in our ruin'd Abbyes roar.
Then fick with Poetry, and possest with Muse
Thou wast, and mad I hop'd; but men which chuse
Law practice for meer gain; bold foul repute
Worse than imbrothel'd strumpets prostitute.
Now like an owl-like watchman he must walk,
His hand still at a bill; now he must talk

One, one man only breeds my just offence;

45

Whom crimes gave wealth, and wealth gave Impudence:

Time, that at last matures a clap to pox,

Whose gentle progress makes a calf an ox,

And brings all natural events to pass,

Hath made him an Attorney of an Afs.

50

No young divine, new-benefic'd, can be
More pert, more proud, more positive than he.

What further could I wish the fop to do,

But turn a wit, and scribble verses too;
Pierce the soft lab'rinth of a Lady's ear

55

With rhymes of this per cent. and that per year?
Or court a Wife, spread out his wily parts,
Like nets or lime-twigs, for rich Widows hearts;

Call himself Barrister to ev'ry wench,

And wooe in language of the Pleas and Bench? 60
Language, which Boreas might to Auster hold
More rough than forty Germans when they scold.

Curs'd be the wretch, so venal and so vain : Paltry and proud, as drabs in Drury-lane. 'Tis such a bounty as was never known, If PETER deigns to help you to your own : What thanks, what praise, if Peter but supplies, And what a folemn face if he denies! Grave, as when pris'ners shake the head and swear 'Twas only Suretiship that brought 'em there. His Office keeps your Parchment fates entire, He starves with cold to save them from the fire;

65

70

Idly, like prisoners, which whole months will swear, That only furetyship hath brought them there, And to every suitor lye in every thing, Like a King's Favourite or like a King. Like a wedge in a block, wring to the barre, Bearing like asses, and more shameless farre Than carted whores, lye to the grave Judge; for Baftardy abounds not in King's titles, nor Simony and Sodomy in Church-men's lives, As these things do in him; by these he thrives. Shortly (as th' sea) he'll compass all the land, From Scots to Wight, from Mount to Dover strand. And spying heirs melting with Luxury, Satan will not joy at their fins as he: For (as a thrifty wench scrapes kitchen-stuffe, And barrelling the droppings, and the snuffe Of wasting candles, which in thirty year, Reliquely kept, perchance buys wedding chear) Piecemeal he gets lands, and fpends as much time Wringing each acre, as maids pulling prime. In parchment then, large as the fields, he draws Afsurances, big as glofs'd civil laws, So huge that men (in our times forwardness) Are Fathers of the Church for writing less. These he writes not; nor for these written payes, Therefore spares no length, (as in those first dayes

NOTES.

His comparing Advocates inforcing the Law to the Bench, to a wedge in a block, our Author juftly thought too licentious to be imitated.

1

For you he walks the streets thro' rain or duft,
For not in Chariots Peter puts his trust;

75

80

For you he sweats and labours at the laws,
Takes God to witness he affects your cause,
And lies to ev'ry Lord in ev'ry thing,
Like a King's Favourite-or like a King.
These are the talents that adorn them all,
From wicked Waters ev'n to godly * *
Not more of Simony beneath black gowns,
Nor more of hastardy in heirs to Crowns.
In fhillings and in pence at first they deal;
And steal so little, few perceive they steal;
Till, like the Sea, they compass all the land,
From Scots to Wight, from Mount to Dover strand: 85
And when rank Widows purchase luscious nights,
Or when a Duke to Janfen punts at White's,
Or City-heir in mortgage melts away;
Satan himself feels far less joy than they.
Piccemeal they win this acre first, then that,
Glean on, and gather up the whole estate.
Then strongly fencing ill-got wealth by law,
Indentures, Cov'nants, Articles they draw,
Large as the fields themselves, and larger far
Than Civil Codes, with all their Glosses, are;
So vast, our new Divines, we must confefs,

Are Fathers of the Church for writing less.
But let them write for you, each rogue impairs
The deeds, and dextrously omits, fes heires:

90

95

When Luther was profest, he did defire
Short Pater-nofters, saying as a Fryer

Each day his Beads; but having left those laws,

Adds to Christ's prayer, the power and glory clause)
But when he fells or changes land, h'impaires
The writings, and (unwatch'd) leaves out, fes heires,
As flily as any Commenter goes by
Hard words, or sense; or, in Divinity
As controverters in vouch'd Texts, leave out

Shrewd words, which might against them clear the

doubt.

Where are these spread woods which cloath'd here

tofore

Those bought lands? not built, not burnt within

door.

Where the old landlords troops, and almes? In halls Carthufian Fafts, and fulsome Bacchanals

Equally I hate. Mean's blest. In rich men's homes
I bid kill fome beafts, but no hecatombs;

None starve, none surfeit fo. But (oh) we allow
Good works as good, but out of fashion now,
Like old rich wardrobes. But my words none draws
Within the vaft reach of th' huge ftatutes jawes.

NOTES.

VER. 127. Treason, or the Law.] By the Law is here meant the Lawyers.